13-06-2008

didnt post anything for the past few days cause my grandma past away. she died peacefully on Sunday around 3am. heard that before she close her eyes, she went blind for a few hours :( thought i wouldnt shed a tear as i wasnt very close to her. 1 year, i only meet her twice or thrice. once on CNY and the other, on her birthday. i will never get to see her again, her smile, her looks. never again. her house was empty. every moment i step into her house, the feeling is no longer there. every new year, the house is filled with people. a cosy house filled with laughter. now, the moment i step into the house, is silence. i could no longer sense the way she look at me, her beautiful smile. i miss her. but i know, she is still around us, watching over us. may she rest in peace. and i love her so.

the wake lasted for 5 days. today went to Mandai for cremation. few hours ago, went to collect her ashes.

the lost of my grandma, made me realise how important is life. and i should cherish everyone around. i use to take things for granted. dont cherish the people around me. i used to think that it is a MUST for them to be good to me. only when they let me, means they love me. so i let go many things. i let go the people i love, and hate the people around me. i am sorry. especially to HIM, i hurt him again and again. i hurt him like no body's business. sorry.


knowing that life and death is just a procedure in life,
we still cry. we just cant help it, but cry.
maybe it is also a procedure.
you are born, then you grow old, and die.
then others cry for your absence.

-grandma, always in my heart.